Remember This When You Are King

When It's Cold

baoziboy baoziboy wrote in coldmoby
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Precious Little: I.

Title: Precious Little: I.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Seho/Sekai

Word Count: 383

Summary: Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon and I forget things.


Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon.

I forget things.

I forget names and I forget faces. I forgot my mother's birthday last year and I know I will do it again. I forgot how I got this scar on the inside of my elbow. I do not remember when I started forgetting things. Or why. Or how. It just happened.... happens. But I don’t forget everything. I will never forget the burdensome weight of the world, of my world, that I had held so delicately in my hands.

I hold the world, my world, now, as if it would break, because it can break, because it has been broken. As if the globe is a constant bulb of glass curving and curling, re-shaping itself underneath a flame that is far too blistering, far too overbearing. I hold the world, today, as delicately and moderately as my mother held me as a child. Because to hold the lives of human beings in small, small hands is just as dangerous as being held at gun point. Everything could be over and chaos can wreak havoc over the land, and your life, in less than a second.

The world is fragile, much more so than I am, and yet I want to shield myself with it. I want to hide from the listening ears and prying eyes of my people. I want to become sheltered, protected.

But the world is just as cruel as it is fragile, if not more so than.

Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon.

I am a prince.

I was born into royalty. "Pure-bred, pure blood. Undeniably the best kind.", is what they say these days, when you are royalty. I was born into the throne, yes, but my brother had it first.

My brother was supposed to-- is going to have it first.

Kim Jongin.

That was--

Is his name.

He would have--is going to make a fine king. He is ambitious, thoughtful, kind. He will do well for us, our people, our family. I will be proud of him.

I am proud of him.

Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon.

I am in love.

I am in love with the way my brother's lover's chestnut hair that curls and waves delicately over and onto his pale skin. I am in love with the way my brother's lover holds me, handles me, as delicately as I am built. I am in love with the way his long fingers thoroughly stretch me every fortnight. I am in love with the way his much larger frame provides me with shelter and protection.

Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon.

And I am in love with Oh Sehun.

Hello, my name is Kim Joonmyeon.

And I have Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.


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